The Fool’s Travelling Bag: where he came from, where he is now

The Fool is shown here in classic array. His travelling bag on his shoulder usually interpreted to be past experiences he brings to his new journey ahead.

The Fool was a dreamer. He wanted to change the world: be a doctor and find a cure for cancer. He was not bad academically: getting through the rigorous examination and evaluation of the University of the Philippines. But the dreamer remained in his dream-world.

He experienced the ecstasy of life. His dream-world expanded to lovers and friends and faces he cannot even name. This was beyond him. The dream-world made him insatiable, always looking for the next lover. One may not even be enough for him. But why all of these? He was brought up well, given a good education and even flourished in a Protestant sect. He saw himself as a non-conformist: someone who will not just follow blindly. He found his rebellion a way to be just that. Funny how years from the rebellion, his actions will bind him practically useless.

The Fool was a free spirit. He knew he was not placed in this Universe without purpose. He sought it constantly. He was Protestant (“born-again”). He sang the right songs, even cried at times. He studied the Bible and made journals. He was a good Christian as they say. But it was not enough.

He practiced solo Wicca, participated in rituals with fellow practitioners. He learned Tarot. And became good with it. Real good.

Then he met Pai: the enigmatic “father” he had. He got initiated as a Son of Iron and of the Messenger of the Deep. He offered the blood of seven lives that day. He was one to protect the land from disaster through rites he needed to do. He was trained even to do healing of all sorts. Tarot was still his best tool. Diagnosing and looking at real issues, not just the surface.

Then like all things in the Universe: chaos. Personalities clash, belief systems became incompatible with each other. Even the sweetness of our patron cannot patch up things. The “house” he knew for a while fell apart. New "houses" emerged instead, forgetting the father who started everything.

He was called home. By the Mother he always saw but never knew, accidents turned to incidents and a miracle set him on his way. He was an ordinary Catholic at best. Until he discovered the pageantry, the history and the friends he keeps to this day. He received favors he never asked for, graces undeserved. He promised to give it all back to the Mother who called him home. Now, he climbs the mountain Elijah walked, following his Mystical Parents hopefully to find the Hidden God he was searching for all his life.

Today, the Fool feels trapped and restricted. He is enclosed in a castle not of his wanting but an effect of his rebellion. He feels he will not see the world he loves again: the world of ecclesiastical pageantry, history and food.

He was promised forever and a new life in a place far away from peering eyes. A life he dreamed remains a dream. A promise broken without true reason. He was left alone when he needed support. He was questioned and doubted. Then he questioned and doubted himself.

The Fool who was an intellectual, now feels useless and without aim. He is often feels sad and broken because of being alone, a far cry from his adventures on the “outside”. The free spirited and dreamy Fool is now broken and trapped by his own doing without immediate hope.

Note: Photos are images I found on the internet and may have copyrights. I have no intention to earn from them but only to use them as references for educational purposes. If you own any of these, please send me a message at seedofcarmel@gmail.com and I will take it down at your request.